Posted by: Shira Danin | October 28, 2009

Necessary Optimism

I received a comment on one of my posts from a fellow fibro sufferer that said:

“…You are either the master of understatement, or really taking all this is stride, or are super spectacular at masking and putting on a good front! I suspect all of the above?”

I thought about for quite some time because I am not sure I’m even one of those things.

It reminded me of something nice from my teenage years that might have left some residues.

Until my 16th year I had some happiness problems.

What are happiness problems?

I had a hard time being happy. I was a little overweight (as I am today) and wasn’t one of the popular kids….and….and..I guess there were other reasons I don’t remember or didn’t understand at the time.

When I was 16 I had a very powerful personal experience in the most beautiful place in our country called Shaharut. Nothing extravagant happened to me other than connecting with nature and with myself.

I was always very close to my siblings.

My sister Morit always knows what to say, how to help, the most importantly, how to help me think and open my mind to new thoughts.

Maybe that’s why she became a brand in the business world (in matters of recruiting employees and sexual harassment prevention)…what can I do, I’m a very proud little sister.

Plus I’m happy I was privileged to always have her for advice and sometimes just to talk.

I don’t remember exactly when she suggested to me the next idea but I know it helped.

She suggested that no matter how bad the day was, how bummed out I was or how tired, that I write 5 things that made me happy or that I enjoyed that day. It didn’t matter how simple, trivial, or small were those things (actions/moments/things that happened to me).

And to demonstrate I’ll write an example:

May 7th 1999

  1. I finally made another sculpture (during junior high and high school I would sculpture in clay little sculptures.
  2. Lit some incense
  3. Made a greeting card for Amiri (my nephew)
  4. Ate a croissant at Doreen (my English tutor)
  5. Had grape juice after math class.

On the really good and fun days I would write even 6 or 7.

Every time I thought of that since then, I was very pleased with Morit’s idea and I even went back to writing 5 things during sadder times.

Now that think about it, I’m beginning to believe this was how I internalized. Most of the time in a variety of situations, I try to see the good, and the potential for success…

After Fibro decided she won’t let me exist alone in my body, that she has to join in, optimism became meaningful on a whole new level.

And now we get to the name of the post. Necessary Optimism.

When I read the comment I mentioned at the start of the post, I realized that even when I’m in pain and having a bad day, I still have that voice inside my head reminding me to think positive. It’s hard for me to talk about Fibro without mentioning that I’m ok with it and I’m coping and laughing and being supported by my family and friends.

Only with Tomer (the BF) and my closest friends can I whine and cry. Since they know me, during the hard moments, they usually try to make me laugh with a witty fibro joke. There is nothing else to do.

It is such a ridiculous and non logical syndrome that you just have to laugh so you don’t cry.

So I choose to write almost only when I have something positive or funny to write (in addition to the other fibro fun stuff-A.K.A pain)

It’s important to me that other fibroites around the world know that my life is not one big depression and that there are ways to cope, even when it’s the hardest.

I invite everyone to try this on the hard days (Even if you don’t have fibro)…try to think of the good things and write them down….no matter how small they are.

And now for a new way of coping (for me anyway):

Further to my brother’s, Barak‘s, suggestion I bought permanent markers and glitter glue so I could decorate my bandages. The ones I have to wear on my wrists and elbows and knees in order to function. Maybe decorated they’ll be more fun!

I started decorating and here’s what I did so far:

funbandages

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Responses

  1. Beautiful art work!!!! Love the positive attitude, I am trying it…:) 🙂 🙂

    just so you know…

    1. happy i got to work out in my yard today!!
    2. happy to eat baked apples with ice cream

    Have a great day!!!

    • That’s great…
      Thank you..i’ll keep working on it today in school..

  2. Just found your blog…thanks for the inspiration!


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