Posted by: Shira Danin | November 25, 2009

Gotta Snap Out of It

In the last few months I feel my physical condition has been deteriorating. The pains are taking over me and my energies. I feel like I have no resources in my body, not even to move.

But I force myself to go to my classes and the university and to my fibrogym classes.  I try to eat write and rest enough. I just can’t snap out of it, my body is too weak.

Emotionally I try to be as positive as possible. As I often write I have an amazing, supportive and loving boyfriend. I have an embracing and supportive family and good friends that understand me.

Anyway, I feel like I went backwards to a phase I was in after being hospitalized. In order to get out of that phase I had help from different treatments which included mostly shiatsu and acupuncture.

It has taken me some time to internalize and come to terms with the fact that again, I need help. I can’t do this alone.

I finally took a step and made an appointment with my acupuncture guy and with a guy that does hydrotherapy.

Tomorrow I have the acupuncture appointment and next Thursday is my first hydrotherapy treatment.

Tomorrow I’m also going for the first time in my life to a real basketball game. Macabi Tel Aviv against….? it’s not clear who is playing but they are from Europe. Very Exciting.

I wrote three times in the past week about good things that happened to me.  I did not get the same satisfaction I get when complete writing a post. So I don’t think I’ll write more of those but mix the good things into the post.

I wanted to write this post yesterday and I was mentally prepared. My hands were not prepared. The pain was so sharp that I just wrote the headline and had to stop.

I rested and tried to gather powers for today, Wednesday, which is the hardest day of the week.

I enjoy reading letters and comments I receive regarding my blogs. I thank and appreciate every person that takes the time to write me and give tips or share their personal story. Because it hurts me to write and type I appreciate those who write to me (even though for most of you it’s not painful)

Today I received confirmation that I will be able to do my tests on a laptop. I’m so happy I’m given this opportunity that will make it a lot easier for me to solve the tests.  Now I have to go back to getting normal grades. Thank you to the Student’s Decanate of Ben Gurion University!

My goal, as of now, is to finish my Degree. That is all I want to happen this year. That, and to have my pain situation improve. It is really exhausting to ache all over my body 24 hours 7 days a week. Really exhausting. And it is really hard to concentrate on anything. Even the fun things are hard to focus on and enjoy because the pain keeps distracting me.

I wish everyone (and me) good health!

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Responses

  1. Hello my friend,
    I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with so much pain. I have you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Tomorrow is Thanksgiving day for us and one thing I am soooo thankful for is my fibro friends.
    I am so happy to hear you got the thumbs up to take your tests on your laptop…watch out, you will be getting all A’s now.
    Enjoy the basketball game 🙂


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