Posted by: Shira Danin | February 24, 2010

Dealing with life

Sunday was a bit of a traumatic day for me. About 8 months ago I went through a series of dental treatments (4 fillings and 1 root canal). It was the first time at the dentist since Fibro came. It was actually the first time regardless of fibro. Up to my 24th year I had nothing dental done except one wisdom tooth I got pulled out.

Getting the tooth pulled out before fibro wasn’t too bad even though it was complicated and took an hour. Since I started the treatments 8 months ago I was wondering in which treatment it will be that the anesthetic wouldn’t work and it would hurt more than it should. Up until Sunday all the local anesthetic they used worked.

On Sunday the moment I feared most arrived. My dentist injected me with the anesthetic a few times and it just didn’t numb the area. I felt everything. In the middle I got another anesthetic shot but it didn’t help either. I felt like I was being investigated for being a terrorist and were getting tortured so I would reveal some secret. It felt like they were trying to rip my jaw right out of my face. I screamed with pain and tears were pouring out of my eyes.

I later spoke with my mom and realized it wasn’t supposed to hurt like that. I still feel a bit traumatized. Sitting in the chair and the entire tooth pulling process feels like I was attacked and I still feel like crying when I remember being in the chair.

I know I had to get it done and there was no intent to hurt me. But, it’s hard for me to let go, and it’s frustrating that because I have fibro the anesthetic didn’t work, the way pain killers don’t affect my fibro pain.

I got myself some good ice cream and I hope the pain passes quickly. I hope the horrible feeling of getting my tooth pulled out of my mouth and head will pass.

In my previous post I talked about reasons for writing this blog. I wrote about what moves me to share my inner most thoughts with the entire world.

Since then I thought of another reason. Lately a woman started talking to me that recently found out that she has Fibro. She felt a bit lost and alone. We wrote each other and even spoke on the phone for a while. I’m really glad I got to help someone else and allow her to learn from my experience.

What is certain, without the blog, she would have never reached me. And I am glad she did.

I felt really comfortable and it made sense talking to her on the phone. One of the reasons for that is of course my understanding of her condition and the adjustments she needs to make for living with fibro. I think another thing that helped is the job I did in the army which was visiting and talking to “injured and sick” soldiers; and the crisis line I learned how to work in the rape crisis center.

The last topic for this post is a source of pride for me. I didn’t start this blog with any intentions.  I just wanted a place where I could write my thoughts, and maybe get a little feedback from my virtual community.

A couple of weeks ago the site manager for “the website for the Fibro and CFS challenged” contacted me and suggested I publish some of my posts on their website in hope to inspire other fibroites.  A few days ago they put 3 of my posts up on their site. I was really excited to see myself published on a site that isn’t mine. The opening bit and the thank you in the end written about me really touched me. I didn’t expect my writing to interest and inspire others.

Right now I’m working on writing a true “story” about my life as a student with Fibro. Apparently I have a lot to write. I hope I can finish it before this final semester starts.

My dad wrote a comment on the website that got me all emotional as usual. He always writes in such a way that makes my eyes water. (Since it’s in Hebrew I translate here)

He wrote:

A father proud of his little girl

“Can you be anything else but proud of this little girl that grew into a sea of pain in which she is swimming with great tenacity?!  When you were small, and since the moment you were born  – a beautiful girl, your grandma (the one with the silhouette theater) called “Smart Shira”. You proved and you are still proving how much you grandmother was right. And we, mom and dad, who struggle because we can’t assist in getting the fibro to leave your world, we wish you endless powers with facing the great challenges of life”

So thanks dad (and mom).

You can see me on the site here. (it’s in Hebrew but my pic is upJ)

And just for fun, a video of me laughing in reverse:

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Responses

  1. The video of you laughing just made my heart happy!!! I saw no pain in your face and you truly looked happy….it was great to see.

  2. Shira ever since I have met you online, I have felt blessed. You have been such an inspiration for me. I have met many people in the Fibro groups and made many friends, but it is different with you, you know how to take what I feel and put it in words as wellas art. Thank you for being a friend, and an inspiration for me.

  3. Shira, i can so relate to your dentist trip, my experience was a nightmare. I needed to have most of my teeth pulled, it by far has been one of the worst things i have gone thru. I was told that because of my ins. i could not go to an oral surgron, so she pulled one tooth at a time, after 8 weeks i still was not done, then her office droped my ins. So i had to start all over with another dentist. In all i went 6 months with out teeth, before i got the worst pair of dentures. your right each tooth pulled was torture. I did have to go an oral speclize it to repaire the damage caused by the first dentist. I also believe i have the beginings a tmj becuse of the way she pulled them. I didn’t relate all the problems i had with anesthetic to the fibro. Thanks for sharing, I was told in 1993 that i had fibro, it’s only recently that people are starting to believe thats it’s real and not just in my head. It’ because of the internet and people like you, I no longer feel alone.
    Thanks Emily


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