Posted by: Shira Danin | May 25, 2010

Partner of a Fibro girl: the one with the questions…

Why? How? When? These words stand at the beginning of questions. As a fibro girl’s boyfriend, I find myself using these words more and more.

As a partner, who came into this relationship while knowing his partner has a few bugs in the IT department of our creator, there are a lot of things I talk about with Shira and ask myself at the same time.

The truth is, relatively, I think I have an advantage – a planning advantage. As opposed to men who’s partners have been struck with Fibro after they already settled down, I can take fibro into consideration when planning my future with Shira.

But many questions remain unanswered – how will we handle our children? What about our monthly income?

One of the many questions that I’m not sure we can answer is, assuming there will be an offspring to the Danin-Inbar Family; how will fibro affect Shira’s ability to take care of the little one? How will she pick him up? Where will she get the strength to cope?
I hope in some way or another, this kind of change will cause Ms. Fibro to be a little more fair and make it a little easier on us. Anyhow, whatever happens, I will do all I can to make it easier for her (Shira, not Ms. Fibro). Also, I hope that such an event (having a baby) in her life, will give her strength and she will be able to conquer all. In any case, I hope the safety net I will try to provide will be strong enough, actually, I’m sure it will be J

Anyway, if you have any tips regarding these issues, you are more than welcome to comment, Shira and I would be glad to know how this illness affects the dynamics between partners when it comes to family.

And on a “fibro awareness” note, in light of Shira’s desire to increase awareness, some of the questions I asked her are – what is your goal in raising awareness? Is there a purpose in raising awareness? What change does she want to initiate?

In these cases, the first thing I think about is money (I always think of money). A number of times (according to the looks I get, maybe one time too many) I try to get her to write a letter to a member of the government or a lobbyist in order to promote clearer legislation with regards to diseases like Fibro, Lupus and Such…

It could work for both sides – it could make that government official popular for fighting for such a worthy cause, and for the patients, legislation and anchoring their rights in law (especially disability and financial rights).

Does anyone (in Israel) know such government official or lobbyist who might be interested?

Another solution is getting Shira to run for a seat on our senate but I’m not sure they have electric outlets for her electric heating pillowJ

In any case the holidays here in Israel are over for now so I wish you all a wonderful week and weekend!

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Responses

  1. I think you are pretty awesome…I hope you get her to run for government..:)

  2. I wouldn’t hold my breath Lynn 🙂

  3. With Fibro your future becomes one day at a time, but one day you may want kids and i understand your frustration at wanting to plan for this.
    I wish you had the energy to run for a powerful position in government, but please know the awareness you are doing via the internet are making a difference. Power structures are changing and the use of facebook, youtube etc. are the new power tools.
    Keep up the good work x

    • Hi kate,
      Thank you so much for both your comments. it really helps me keep going with my videos..
      I was sad to read about your experience with the disability committee.

      I really hope I will make a change somehow…
      Shira


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